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Supporting Your Child
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| The single most important factor affecting the child’s recovery is the level of support from parents or caregivers: it is this simple. If you do everything you can do to support your child, the chances of recovery are much greater. If you feel torn between loyalty to your child and loyalty to the offender, the Child Advocacy Center has services available to help you sort it out. |
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Ways You Can Support Your Child
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| Provide safety, love and support.
Let them know that it is okay to cry or be mad. Make sure your child understands it is not his or her fault. Don’t coach or pressure you child to talk about the abuse.
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| Here are some things you can say that will really help your child |
- I believe you.
- I know it is not your fault.
- I’m glad I know about it.
- I’m sorry this happened to you.
- I will take care of you.
- I’m not sure what will happen next.
- Nothing about you made this happen.
- It has happened to other children too.
- You don’t need to take care of me.
- I am upset, but not with you.
- I’m angry at the person who did this.
- I’m sad. You may see me cry. That’s all right. I will be able to take care of you.
- I am not mad at you.
- You can still love someone but hate what they did to you.
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| Some things you can do: |
- Return to a normal routine as soon as possible.
- See that your child receives counseling as soon as possible. Avoiding or minimizing the abuse usually causes more problems because the effects of abuse will not go away without help.
- Find help for yourself. You don’t have to do it all yourself. Contact your local crisis center for assistance (1-800-277-5570).
- Teach you child the rules of personal safety. Tell them what to do if someone tries to touch them in an uncomfortable way.
- Be careful not to question your child about the abuse. If you do, you can jeopardize the case in court against your child’s abuser. Specially trained professionals at the Child Advocacy Center will interview your child to obtain the necessary information without harming the case or further traumatizing your child. If your child wants to talk about it, listen supportively, but do not probe.
- Keep your child away from the person suspected of the abuse. This is to protect you, your child and the accused.
- Avoid discussing the case with other victims or their families.
- Never coach or advise your child on how to act or what to say to professionals or investigators. This could seriously damage the case.
- Avoid the suspect.
- Your child may need an extra sense of physical security. Stay close, and assure your child you will keep him/her safe.
- Remember to give attention to your other children.
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| From: The New Hampshire Network of Child Advocacy Centers’ Handbook for Parents. |
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